Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I still blog?

Enjoy(: I have the biggest love hate relationship with my days off. I get so bored when I'm home all day. I have spent all day reading about plants and plant reproduction. I promise, if I hear or see the words male stamen or pistil i'll vomit.

Is it bad to be content with something that you shouldn't be content with?
Seems that's the ultimate goal of most. To be content... or something to that sort.
I just feel like I'm becoming content with who I am, which isn't a bad thing- I guess..
I just know this isn't who I want to be. I mean, who willing wants to be the too shy girl that would rather read than go out and be, you know, social. The girl that holds back because she's afraid of the world. The weirdly passively aggressive girl that is around because, she was invited by someone else. Or the  always under dressed, doesn't have a real hobby, thinks to much, never knows what to say to anyone, and is overly obsessed how her apps on her phone are arranged. Seriously though, its like apple is playing a sick prank on me. Nothing looks right!!

I used to be so anal about my future. Down to the last detail I had it planned out. Sketched enticingly in my mind, and it was beautiful. It would actually motivate me to do things. Now, all I want is for my future room to have white Christmas lights strung everywhere. Nothing is better than falling asleep to the soft calming glow of worn out Christmas lights strung every which way.

Like always, my attention span is pestering me to do something else. Maybe i'll write more tomorrow..?

'The Sun, with all the planets revolving around it, and depending on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as though it had nothing else in the Universe to do.'     - Galileo Galilei