Change never felt so good!

I thought for the longest time that I wanted to be with a specific someone. I really thought the world of this person for the longest time. I waited and waited and... pretty much waited for them -through thick and more thick. Along the way I wouldn't allow myself to get attached to anyone else and I would deny any so said feelings towards anyone that I dated in between, sadly I ruined A LOT of really great things, and I'm kicking myself for it now. Well, then things finally started to fall into place. Or so I thought... I don't know what switched in me. Maybe the possessiveness, controlling, unstable, and aggressive demeanor that surfaced in him. I'm not really sure, but all I know is I suddenly had no desire to be with him. Well, here I am. Free from all that and ready to make up for lost time. Knowing my personality, I would say I'm bitter towards relationships and that I never want to go through that again. But, I feel refreshed and new. Turning over a new leaf never felt so good. I should have posted this over a month ago, so I'm sorry for that!!

Lately I have been trying really hard to enjoy things more. Whether it been holding my nieces closer and a little longer (I would also include my nephew, but he is a stinker and wont let me hold him... real heart breaker that one is), having a more positive attitude at work, taking a little longer on my homework, turning the radio off while I drive, or talking to old friends.
Also, school is almost over with! About two more weeks, I still haven't decided on if I would attend the summer semester or not. :/

I'm craving...

A situation that is difficult. That will make me want to better myself. I feel like I know myself best when I'm in situations that challenge me and force me to grow. It has been a while...
For the past two months I've been in a messy situation, but I hardly think that scenario is making me grow. It's just making me irritated and bitter. But, like all things, they change and it's getting better.

For some reason I really liked this^.

Truth is...

I wish more than anything that I could talk to my sister. I mean, she's my best friend and all. I try to ask advise from her, but her religious background starts to play a major role in her answers. I know she just wants the best for me, and that's what she thinks is the best answer... but, I wish I could just talk to her and not have to edit things out or repeatedly say, "I know you want me to get married in the temple, but I'm not worried about that". But, what I really wish is that she could see that there are wonderful guys out there, and no they are not returned missionaries. I would love to be able to call her everyday and tell her about a guy or a date that I went on, sadly she would not approve.. (also, I should note, I don't go on dates that much... actually hardly ever, I just exaggerated the previous statement to emphasis..) Anyway, I wish my family would just be "normal" for a day...

This Sunday I'll be heading to Vegas for a night! My friend Chris will be down there for the 311 concert, and so me and a couple friends are going down. I'd say I'm excited, but that's a very big understatement!!